osama-bin-leto asked: OMG MARTA IA THAT YOU ?!
Oh gawd. It is my old tumblr. I don’t use it much now. How are you?
GD Sleeping Fanart
(Source: koreanghetto, via nicosadako-deactivated20130406)
I occasionally feel sorry for Park Han Byul because he sometimes seems to have more chemistry with Tabi than her…
yeah. Tabi’s face is hilarious tho xD
(Source: youngbaebae, via creepygenitals)
Don’t read that. It is just me arranging all the crap in my head, refocusing or what the shit ever. I hate going onto my bank account, counting all the crap I have been putting off for no reason and realising that I have been overspending for the last months… and now I have like 50 pounds in my savings, 38 pounds to live until monday and 27 pounds in my piggy bank…I have also realised that I have to start to put off like 50 pounds every week, leave my tips ALONE (and it is not like we’re getting large ones lately) - put them into piggy bank and stop spending so much money on food, because all the money I spend go on food lately. To add to that I have to loose weight to look decent (and feel like I look decent because I feel like SHIT for too long already) enough to look for either another job or at least part time job to add to that one because I am realising that If I change my sleeping situation I need a decent sized room and I am not letting go of any of my kitchen equipment. I have heard of people just leaving the carefully gathered stuff every time they move but on the other hand SERIOUSLY… It is like throwing away 200 quid ‘just because’. NO CAN DO. While I don’t feel particularly happy with my new rota it is actually wise one. I worked 9-19 on tuesday (10 hours)… and I feel quite crappy because Hanna came in awful mood (I was considering saying I will do her shift just so she goes home or do whatever she chooses to recharge because lately she is plainly close to her mental limit and while I love sarcasm I don’t think other people share my opinion on the subject - on the weird note - I don’t know why but she is never sarcastic with me). I hated the thought of doing that shift because 9AM - I am really dead then. I came in was grumpy with Kamil (but when I am not grumpy with him. I barely talk to the guy. He had a good mood though, he even thanked me for the coffee I made, but I guess I messed with that one)… Tomorrow I am doing 2-8 (6 hours) shift which I mentally whined about (because it is a non-sense shift covering NOTHING) and figured it is because of the new girl and Jess leaving on a break but apparently it is also because of the wake we’re going to hold. I am not worried because I have experience in those and Tim knows that - and I think it is the biggest reason he made me come…besides the fact that new people can’t be left alone and Tim doesn’t want to be forced to stay in). Friday is my offday - another nonsense day off as it matters only to party people. Since I have done my washing today, I think it would be wise to go out sight see a little… get some sun in the system. On saturday I have my ‘I hate you’ shift. I told that to nobody but every time I am forced to do it I have my overeat breakdown afterwards. I am so not bringing money to work that day. If we get any tips I will take them with me on sunday. Tim gives me that shift because (1) he is never around that day but he wouldn’t give me that shift if he knew how bad my mood gets during that day. I am just depressed. I don’t know why I hate that shift to THAT extent. I mean it is a ‘food shift’ quite visibly. QA gets busier from 1pm and foods get served until 10. To close the floor (= clean coffee machine and serve last food) we need 30 minutes so here we go with my shift 13-2230. Now when I think about it I kind of know why I hate this sort of shifts and don’t mind so much the split shifts. It is mostly because it always disturbs my ‘mealtime’ rhythm no matter how would I try to shift it. I mean I bring my food in but every time I eat in my workplace I feel miserable. It feels slightly better if I do it outside but still… I just hate eating full meals there. Saturday is the day when we are not really busy, we’re not getting any tips… Kind of a day when they have to have this third person ‘just in case’… sunday is a surprise for me - 12-2130 (I don’t get it, I am crap why am I getting this shift? It is like Tim has wanted me to work Sunday but couldn’t put me on the evening because it is a good practice shift for newbies, he clearly tries to get rid of Sean because poor guy got only one shift per week… I don’t even know)… it will be hell but the tips are going to be decent. Then there is monday 11-6 shift which I clearly don’t mind/don’t care about. On tuesday I was so bored I started sorting the glasses so they will look more ‘organized’ to the staff. Not that it will last past today (I don’t really believe that), I have dishwashed beerthings and fruit things (FLY ATTACK), sorted salt and peppers (but this I actually do every day I work on the floor because taking them out with the cutlery is hell if they are unsorted) - basically saying all the crap jobs has been done and my mood has even settled on ‘not so bad’ in the end. 42 hours but I have a strong feeling my hours could get cut in the meantime - and this time around I will care. In the end when I was leaving (I was just passing them, tbh I don’t even care) I have overheard Kamil telling Hannah and Nicky that Tim went bar supervisor hunting that day and he was looking at me visibly looking for clues how I feel about it. Kamil if you ever stumble here and read it (which will never happen because it is longer than 3 words already) I want you to know one thing - even if I was offered Bar assistant job right now, this second - I would say straight away ‘no fucking hell’. First time it has hit me when Vanessa was gone - (sorry, but Kamil you won’t tell me that Tim was annoyed with her for a long time already by then) the unreasonability of Tim’s behavior and choices, the whole unfairness and childishness - I lost last pieces of respect for the guy. It was also first time I considered leaving before 1 year mark passes (yeah, I just want to write in my CV that I have stayed and worked for some place for 1 year long). Then it has hit me with that ‘100%’ mark on the report. I don’t actually care about the fact that he gave all credit to Hill (I adore girl and the way she talks about things - and the way she takes my straightforwardness and bluntness for what it is) - she is 100% kind of girl so let me be honest the mistake didn’t irk me as much as the fact that 1) for the last….7 months? ever since I got the job he kept lecturing me, stressing me out, basically saying - treating me like the worst employee ever… I was seriously feeling like crap because of him.I felt like what I am doing is worthless (I was just working harder and harder so he can’t say anything bad straight to my face). I hate to admit it is but Sean didn’t help it any. Then the 83% came and apparently everything got to the Titanic (just before sinking) point. Nevermind that the guy was quite clearly out of his mind because he has said that there were 5 ppl working, he has also stated that he was served out of order by me but then admitted that he could have been lost inbetween all the groups hogging the bar, he said that while his order has been taken everything was alright and noted well and then in the other part of the raport he has written that something went wrong because of something I noted wrong. He was clearly drunk when reporting it or high (I DON’T CARE) but overall score was not so bad. For the whole month Kamil kept whining that one more and Tim will be firing people. Then I overheard Kamil telling people that it is his ‘scaring’ technique (Tim said nothing about firing) and if it was not for the fact that I am treating him like an idiot already I would feel worse. Then we got 100% score and after whole confusion passed it has turned out to be me who has scored 100% and … if I have to be honest it was extreme shock. I was seriously convinced that I am worthless and apparently my worthlessness was worth 100%. People were forced to stop treating me like a crappy worker and that was nice as hell. If I have to be honest the 100% only strengthtened my resolution of not staying there any longer than necessary and this is still my plan. I don’t even get why Terry kept repeating ‘now that you are a star, for sure you don’t want to go away’- it is actually one of the things that annoyed me as hell. Every time I hear that I may stay longer than the amount of max 1 year I feel like throwing something or killing innocents. It is not my plan. Do you know what was taught in my uni,thing I believe to be true? Good workplaces have low staff rotation. But seriously when I become one of the ‘oldest’ workers in the place (9 months)??? It means only 1 thing. Something is really wrong. This place is hit by stagnation, it feels like the time has frozen here with ‘changes’ being treated like the ‘evil’. Tim is scared of them, Kamil lives in the past and thinks that if we do things the same way the result will be ‘the same’. Tim infuriates me. He wants great income, great reports but he refuses to change anything. It is like he tries to stabilize a castle which is falling appart with bluetack. He knows he will be fired, he knows that but he keeps on doing nothing, sitting at home. Then Jess proposes doing something to improve that place but he says ‘no’ or makes hell, or actually goes to ask Paul (or whoever is in charge). The fact is that he acted like he semi hated her just until he found out that she has got apprenticeship program and he as an employer has failed to see her. He hires good people he can trust to work instead of him but he fails at actually doing something to make them stay. There are no training programs we are sent to, he is just waiting till we all go so he replaces us with sth else and keep pretending that everything with that place is alrite even if it is falling apart in front of his own eyes. So no Kamil, I don’t want to be promoted in this place nor work there for longer than absolutely necessary. For now I need both experience and cash and that’s the reason I am still here. I kind of feel like on september I will be kind of left behind and I am afraid that I will be affected by the marasm of this place. It feels like some stage is passing and staying becomes ‘overstaying’. I already find myself not caring enough about ‘newbies’ (compared to my overexcitement about Terry, I have barely noticed that Hills is new since she has just kind of acclimatised faster than tornado I guess). After my ‘i need some time off because I am too close to breaking’ I have realised that I simply cared too much. After I came back I simply didn’t feel like working at all and now…I am working to make the time pass faster plus I don’t want to put my share of work on others so… Yeah, now that I have a plan and have vented I will be back tomorrow to work some. I don’t really like working with new people at this place - they need help, they need to be supervised and they need to work with people who actually like this workplace. Patient people. I am not the one. When I can’t be blunt, straightforward me I end up silent. And newbies need to be treated as delicate beings and I do remember that in the beginning stages you need to be very positive. I am not positive now. I am not really negative. I just don’t want to be there when everybody leaves. I don’t want to deal with Tim alone. I am already scared of that. Nevermind.